Coping with the loss of your loved one
The death of someone you love is one of the greatest losses that can occur. Grief is a normal, healthy response to loss. When we lose someone important to us our grief can be particularly intense. The sadness typically diminishes in intensity as time passes, but grieving is an important process in order to adjust to our loss and life without our loved one.
Everyone feels grief in their own way. People’s response to grief will vary. There is no “normal” time period for someone to grieve. Do not expect to pass through “stages;” although this may be the experience of some, grief is not linear. It is common to experience mood changes and to be overcome by strong emotions unexpectedly. These are not signs of weakness, they are normal. People who are grieving may find it useful to use some of the following strategies to help come to terms with loss:
- Talk about the death of your loved one with friends and colleagues in order to better understand what happened and remember your friend or family member.
- Show yourself compassion. Accept your feelings. People experience all kinds of emotions after the death of someone close. Sadness, anger, frustration and even exhaustion are all normal.
- Take care of yourself and your family. Eating well, exercising and getting plenty of rest help us get through each day and move forward.
- Remember and celebrate the lives of your loved ones. Possibilities include donating to a favorite charity of the deceased, framing photos of fun times, passing on a family name to a baby or planting a garden in memory. What you choose is up to you, as long as it allows you honor that unique relationship in a way that feels right to you.
When a person’s grief-related thoughts, behaviors, or feelings are extremely distressing and unrelenting, a quali ed mental health professional may be able to help. For individual counseling we recommend calling your insurance company for a list of local, in-network providers. We are also from here please please see next pageable to assist you with this.
Helpful Support Groups:
Support groups for adults:
“New Start,” 8-week series for newly bereaved. Paramus, NJ. Contact Carly Tsaglos, LCSW, CALL 201-291-6246
“Pathways,” for those bereaved from 1 month-2 years. Paramus, NJ. Contact Carly Tsaglos, LCSW, CALL 201-291-6246
Hudson Hospice, Jersey City, bi-monthly, CALL 201-433-6225
Pockets of Light; Peer led grief support group; pregnancy & newborn loss Montclair Contact Erin to register, CALL 973-841-7524
Hearts & Crafts Grief Counseling, weekly group for young adult spouses Hillsdale, NJ. CALL 201-818-9339. Registration is $40.
Compassionate Care Hospice, Hawthorne, NJ Contact Donna Ash to register, CALL 973-916-1400
Hackensack University Medical Center Pregnancy & Newborn loss support group Contact Alissa Sandler to register, CALL 551-996-5131
Compassionate Friends; Peer led grief support group; Child loss CALL 201-567-0089
“Stepping Stones,” Parents with child loss; Valley Hospice Bi-weekly group. CALL 201-291-6364
“Sharing the Journey,” for loss of child or grandchild. Sessions run for 8 weeks. Teaneck, NJ. Contact Lenore Guido, MA, to register CALL 201-833-3000 ext 7580
“Sharing the Journey” for those bereaved in the past year. Sessions run for 8 weeks. Teaneck and Upper Saddle River, NJ.Contact Lenore Guido, MA, to register CALL 201-833-3000 ext 7580
Support groups for children/teens:
“Journeys,” children/teens who are bereaved OR dealing with loved one w/serious illness Valley hospice; CALL 201-291-6243
Other Useful Grieving Resources
Books for adults
“When Bad Things Happen to Good People,” by Harold Kushner
“About Grief,” by Channing Bete
“Necessary Losses” by Judith Voirst
“How to Go on Living when Someone we Love Dies” by Theresa A. Rando, PhD.
“When the Bough Breaks: Forever After the Death of a Son or Daughter,” by Judith Berstein, PH.D.
“No Time for Goodbyes: Coping With Grief, Anger and Injustice After a Tragic Death,” by Janice Harris Lord “How to survive the loss of a love” by Melba Colgrove, Harold Bloom eld & Peter McWilliams
“Don’t Take my Grief Away” by Doug Manning
“Good Grief” by Doug Manning
“Understanding Grief: Helping Yourself Heal” by Judy Tatelbaum “A Child’s view of Grief (a guide for caring adults)” by Alan Wolfelt
Books for children
“Why Did You Die,” by Goldring and Leeuwenburgh “The Fall of Freddy the Leaf,” by Leo Buscalgia “Grief is a Mess” by Jackie Schuld
“Never the Same” by Donna Schuurman
CancerCare, Ridgewood, NJ, CALL 201-444-6630 (bereaved spouses)
Hearts & Crafts Grief Counseling, Hillsdale, NJ, CALL 201-818-9399
www.psychologytoday.com (search for a counselor)
www.goodtherapy.org (search for a counselor)
www.dougy.org (The Dougy Center)